Pen Shade
Pen Shade
Honest opinion – should I drop the pen?
We took a walk my friend and I,
Under the roof of an azure sky.
Hand in hand we passed the time,
In fields of daisies and celandines.
We came to rest, him by me,
Beneath the shade of an old oak tree
And there he spoke of words so sweet
No nightingale could e’er compete.
Wow! Thank you everyone – your kind words and advise was so unexpected. So difficult to choose a best answer when everyone has been so positive and supportive. Definitely will give it another go.
It sound great to me. It seems to be a romantic description. It seems well composed and shows good rhythm and use of meaning and sound of the words.
For it to be a great work it might need to tell more of the story to see a moral or whatever, but I could be biased since all my poetry was very cerebral. Either that or there are hidden meanings for me to find. On the whole it is great stuff.
Keep writing I am anxious to see what happened next.
Writing poetry is something you have to stick at.
At the moment I am only good at philosophy but in my early twenties and perhaps earlier I was quite good at poetry in my opinion and that of others.
Sadly I have lost my writings, but they brought pleasure to me and others likely have copies out somewhere in the world.
Keep writing and make backup copies in case you loose them. Looking back in later yeas at old poetry can be an enriching experience.
If this is just a sample, keep writing because it seems as good as any romantic poetry I have read.
My Auntie Val is a very good poet, but has not published too many books of her poetry. Her stuff tends to be amusing and reveal tghings about the world that stimulates change. E.g. showing the stupidity of injustices.
Keep at it even if it is just for fun. If you want to make a career out of it you may have to find your market niche.
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SHADE 45 Queen Pen and Charles Hamiltion talk about Domestic Violence LIP SERVICE
